April 2016 - Why Are We Still Here?

April 24, 2016 marks the second year that our grandsons have been living with us via DCS Foster Care. I could not have imagined this journey would have lasted this long. I started this journey with the word temporary as my buzz word.  I was so convinced that in a matter of months our daughter would get her act together and our grandsons would return to her custody and everything would be right with the world. Life however gave a huge reality check about 10 months into the journey. Now at 2 years the case plan is severance and adoption for all three children.

Our daughter who had proven to be an intelligent young lady in the academic world had made some very poor decision in her life resulting in not just our 2 grandsons but also a granddaughter that was born in December of 2014. Prior to having her daughter, our daughter married a man with an unsavory past. We have yet to have the discussion as to what was she thinking and the have you lost your mind statement. Instead, we have decided to focus on the children and their needs.

In order to properly care for our grandsons it was suggested that we should get licensed as kinship foster care parents. I found an orientation to attend to start the process of becoming a foster parent. I remember that there were many families that attended the orientation looking for the best agency for kinship foster care. We selected an agency that was on our side of town that we could get to via cab or bus. Classes lasted for a little over a month and a half and went toward obtaining a foster care license. We also had background checks down as well as family and friend interviews to find out our parenting style. So many hoops to jump through and finally our license was granted in October 2014. Our licensed has been amended twice. Once when our granddaughter moved into our home in January 2015 and the second time was after our medically fragile training in August 2015.

Becoming a parent to your grandchildren is a difficult task especially when each one has a health or behavioral issue or both. For me I have had my weeks blocked with appointments to therapy, medical doctors, and home visits. In foster care class they talked about a day in the life of a foster parent and the thing that stood out was that woman sitting on the side of the bed before starting her day. I can tell you that I have an hour to myself during the week prior to starting the day. That hour is used to get ready for the day’s events.

Truthfully there are times when we really wanted to throw in the towel because of everything that came with each of these three children. However because it is a team effort we can depend on each other to get through the rough patches.  Daryl Hall and John Oates reminds us of why we have all three children; “I won't do it for money I won't do it for pride I won't do it to please somebody else If it don't feel right But I'll do it for you And at least I'll try I don't need any other reason Than I feel it deep inside I'll Do It For Love.” The whole reason why we continue especially when we can’t see the solution is love and it is that love that will carry us through the years to come.

Reference:  (2016). Retrieved Online. Google Play. Daryl Hall and John Oates. Do It For Love. https://play.google.com/music/preview/Tvuw5ftseevu24qznxkogiuxwka?lyrics=1&utm_source=google&utm_medium=search&utm_campaign=lyrics&pcampaignid=kp-lyrics