After we passed the background checks, our grandsons were dropped off at our home with a cloth shopping bag filled with their clothes. No diapers or pulls ups and we had none because we had no idea when they were coming to our house. Before leaving the DCS representative says we have to take them for an evaluation.
Parental visits were also dropped into our laps. We had to take our grandson to see the people who neglected them and sent them into foster care. On top of that we got word that our daughter didn’t want us to take our grandsons and preferred them to stay with the original foster parents. We were in the dark about the real reason our grandsons were placed into foster care but were willing to be there for and with them as long as needed.
As days grew into months we had various people come
through our doors to see our grandsons but to also interview us. Just when we
thought we were good enough it seemed that we are still under the microscope.
Then they finally said it to us, this is routine don’t take it personal. Those
words made be livid. How can you come into my home and say don’t take it
personal? These children are our family. Their mother is our daughter. It is
VERY personal!
In taking on the responsibility of being parents to
our grandsons we have disrupted our own family life to incorporate our
grandsons. In normal family life we would have had a constant relationship with
our grandsons but because our daughter wanted to be separate from our family we
were strangers to our youngest grandson. We had to learn our grandsons likes
and dislikes when it came to food, hygiene, sleep, and play. Time would reveal
to us a few secrets that our daughter was keeping from us such as the reason
why our grandsons were placed into foster care.
After finding out the daily living conditions of our
grandsons we were in disbelief. How could our daughter that we raised have her
sons living in such deplorable conditions? Sending her sons to daycare in their
own waste and not giving it a second thought. Having a child is a
responsibility that some people are not ready to handle. Our daughter
unfortunately was not ready for the responsibility of being a parent. After
having our grandsons for 2 years and our granddaughter for 1 year, our daughter
is still not ready for the responsibility of children. We continue to pray that
our daughter will get to a point where she could share in the responsibilities
of caring for the children she birthed. As for the various state agencies that
we deal with through foster care for the children they have finally come to the
understanding that when it comes to kinship foster care everything is personal
because your family is being affected by the decision of strangers.
