When I became a parent I was devoted to making sure that my daughter's life would be nothing like mine. Prior to going to live with my grandparents, I was an abused child. Life was not something that I could see myself living to an old age. However, with the move to my grandparents home I was able to begin to heal but also feel love. Fast forward to 1992. I became a mother for the first time. This beautiful baby girl who I pledge to ensure that no hurt, harm, or danger would touch her. Throughout the years of raising my daughter the journey was filled with twists and turns. Then the day that every proud parent waits for with happy and sad hearts high school graduation. I had not idea that my daughter was dating anyone let alone having unprotected sex and to my shock and surprise the announcement of a baby hit me right between the eyes. That was her first baby. Two years later while living with her boyfriend a second child came.
I can honestly tell you that I was not thrilled to become a grandparent at the age of 38 but I was going to make sure that my grandsons were ok. This task was difficult with the wedge between my daughter and I but I tried as much as I was allowed. My daughter and my relationship had become one of need, I only had contact with her and my grandsons when she needed something from me and I accepted this relationship because I had hope that it would blossom into a better relationship. When starting my nonprofit I found another way to connect with my daughter by having her work with me. That working relationship came to a demise when she sent me a Facebook message telling me that she was unable to fulfill her duties to the nonprofit.
The resignation of my daughter was not really a shock. While in meeting she always seemed to be uninterested in the mission and goals of the organization so it was only a matter of time. Her message was not just about her leaving the nonprofit but also to inform me that my grandsons had been taken by Child Protective Services (CPS). I was so hurt. How could you tell me something as important as this via a social media message. I deserved a phone call or even a face to face meeting not a message. I began asking questions like where are the boys and can I see them. My daughter was cold and gave me no information at first so I became proactive and reached out to the CPS hotline and left my information to someone to contact me about the boys. The next day my daughter finally gave me the worker's name and I left a message for her to call me. I heard from her the next day and that began my journey to kinship foster care.
At this point I had no idea why my grandsons were in CPS custody. I couldn't get a straight answer from my daughter. She blamed her ex boyfriend because she had moved on to the next guy. Nothing was her fault because she was at work. None of this made any sense to me but I knew the answers would come out soon. The biggest question was would I be ready for the answers. I can tell you the answer was no.
After two weeks of background checks my grandsons arrived home on April 24, 2014. I was under the delusion that my grandsons would come in the way that I knew them but they were different. My oldest grandson was distant and only requested to see his mom. My second grandson just had a million mile stare. I had no idea what happened or why but my heart broke for my grandsons.
When the new case manager came received the case she sent me the report that contained why my grandsons were taking into CPS custody. As I read the report tears swelled in my eyes. You see this report stated my grandsons were covered in feces everyday. No diapers were taking to the daycare center and my youngest grandson had 2 ticks on his body. The biggest thing was my daughter's new boo was a sex offender. How could this be? After reading this report, all I felt was oh my God I failed as a parent.
#BLMGirl
